8 LESSONS TO THE UNMARRIED

1. Believe that God is more interested in giving you a good spouse more than you are interested in getting one: In a simple rendition take no thought of tomorrow because you cannot add a cubit to your life by worrying. Your heavenly father knows that you have need of these things. So relax!

2. Look out for a man or woman who does not love you more than s/he loves God: A man/woman in love with God can never love you less. Start shifting your gaze from just any person and start looking out for someone in love with God. Not just a church goer but one sincerely in love with God.

3. Look not for a perfect man/woman or the so called will of God for you: Rather make yourself perfect and the will of God for somebody. You can only get the will of God when you turn to become God's will for something. If you are God, would you really give somebody like you out to a son you love? If no, then there is a lifestyle, a character and a disposition you must consciously work on before God will see you perfect enough for a man/woman.

4. Buy books on marriage, relationship and parenting and read: Feed your mind with issues of the next level you desire. Read books on how to be a wonderful husband/wife. Do not get into marriage to prepare, prepare yourself before you get into it. Let the man come in to see a super respectful wife, home keeper, supporter, lover and a friend. Don’t let him see you trying to be a wife. It’s said that if you want to be a millionaire, think like one. Same is true for marriage. If you want to be a wife/husband any time soon, think like one.

5. The worst mistake to make is to allow him/her see you before marrying you: Any man/woman who cannot wait is not yours! Q.E.D. Suspecting one another will become the order of the day if you 'do it' before saying 'we do'. Do not let any man see you until the two of you have seen God before witnesses and the ministers pray over you. Until then, hold on! If he cannot wait, sex won’t keep him. Most times, after sex those that look like they will stay, don't stay. It’s more beautiful when it's done after wedding. Trust me!

6. No matter what, never settle for a man who has not settled for anything: Where is he going in life? Where is he taking you to? 5 years from now, who will know him? Would he have become a public figure making waves in business, politics, career, ministry or banking sector. 10 years from now, would he have become a consultant, professional, making headlines and appearing in front page of national dailies? Does he know where he is going in life, who he is and what he's worth? If he does, he should be able to communicate it to you. Any man who comes with only 'I love you' does not have anything to offer. Beyond 'I love you' the real passion that should be burning in a man's heart is where he is headed. If he is headed no where, he doesn't have a head. In my language it’s said as ‘o nwero isi!’

7. Close up with God: Anybody can give you husband/wife, but nobody can give you the kind God can. It takes God to smile forever. It takes God to be happy forever. Every good and perfect gift comes from God, the father of light in whom there is neither variableness nor shadow of turning. God is all you need to have all your needs met. Without God you can do nothing. It means whatever you do, will turn out to be nothing, ‘NO-THING’. If you marry without God it will be a nothing marriage. Nothing to show, nothing to be happy about in the marriage. The only person that guarantees something is God. GO FOR GOD!

8. A. Locate a successful marriage, a mature couple and become their protégé: Experienced, aged and well exposed married woman and her husband who you can learn a lot from.

B. Sow a seed to a successful marriage: Those of your friends. It’s a sign that you rejoice with them and that you are positioning yourself to get what they got. Seeds open doors for you. God got all of us because He released His only begotten son (JESUS). Most times when you release that which is your only, you get more. Before peter, released his boat for Christ to preach; he had suffered all night and caught no fish. But what you suffer from can end when you sow a quality seed. Talking about seed is NEVER a stratagem to get money extortionately from you. It’s a principle that works. Locate a marriage that is working, blissful and Godly and sow into it. What you celebrate, you attract.

Shalom!