Tuesday, September 27, 2011
It was King Solomon, the wisest king, that always saw evil under the sun. In my little age, I can testify that I have truly seen an evil under the sun in this generation. Well, this evil has transcended generations. In the generation of our fathers, it was them coming home with another woman as a wife without the knowledge of the one at home. Those days they ridiculed them, used to beat them like small girls, abused them and generally treated them like animals. Yet, they were their wives.
I have looked at the evil of how ‘we-men’ deal with women and I feel it’s time to apologize and get matured. A real man is a man that deals with his wife as Christ deals with the church. Nourishes, cherishes, protects, adores, respects, loves, forgives, upholds and beautifies her.
On behalf of men, I want to say: Women, ‘we-men’ are sorry.
- We are sorry for sending so many of you to untimely grave by sponsoring the abortion of the babies we would have been responsible for.
We are sorry for promising you marriage, coming in contact with your best friend, developing unrealistic reasons, dumping you and getting married to your best friend.
- We are sorry for bringing home that strange woman who we impregnated because we were not patient and supportive enough until your time of conception.
- It brings tears to my eyes when I think about those that had to commit suicide because of how deep their hearts were broken by us. For this, we are sorry.
- We are sorry for reducing your worth into ordinary grade [“A”,”B”,”C” even “D”] just because we happen to be your lecturers. Also sorry for failing so many of you because you refused to sleep with us.
- When you got the job offer as a marketer it was a miracle and something you wanted, but now it’s a misery because you cannot get us to open that account without us demanding for sex. For this, we are sorry.
- We are Sorry for saying there is no money at home, yet funding another woman’s account and meeting her needs.
- We are Sorry for having to bring home infections and transferring them to you because of our unfaithfulness.
- In your hail days, you refused other marriage proposals, now you are over 40 and still single, all because you were banking on our promises and waiting for us. Nothing can explain how you feel when you see us with our children, especially when you know you would have been their mother. Truly, we are sorry.
- We are sorry for taking away everything from you and leaving you and the children with nothing when our brother [your husband] died. Sorry for accusing you wrongly and having to make you swear, even to the point of drinking the water used to wash his corpse.
- We are sorry for making you feel less than a woman because you did not give us children and when you did, there were no male children.
- We are sorry for having to push you out of the masters bed room because we have gotten bored, tired and fed up with you.
- We are sorry for the verbal, physical and especially emotional abuse; where we make you feel miserable by refusing to talk to you, eat your food and talk down on you in public.
- We are sorry for dumping you now that we have come to limelight, prosperity and prominence, as against when we were very poor and nobody knew and stood by us, but you.
- We are sorry for not carrying you along over some sensitive decisions, like taking bank facilities thereby putting the whole family into pressure because of accumulated debts.
One would really wonder if this is how someone made in God’s very own image handles another person made out of his ribs.
Writer, If women are made out of you men’s ribs, don’t we deserve to be treated better?
Writer, apologies accepted but the challenge is, how long do we keep receiving and accepting sorry? The average sorry a woman receives from a man in different stages of her life and experiences, if it’s to be converted into monetary terms, it would be close to a billion dollars.
Writer, our advice is, help us talk to men, let them become real, responsible and reasonable. Let them understand that the dominion mandate does not exclude us. We are not part of what they should dominate. We are co-dominators with them. Let them stop treating us like a piece of rubbish. Let them accord us respect and honour. If they can simply observe the golden rule [do unto others, what you want them to do unto you] we would never have problems with them. Let them stop abusing the knowledge they have about our weak points. Just because they know that gifts, promises and sweet talks get to us, they use it against us. Is that how responsible people should act?
Men, it takes only a hardened man not to join me and say sorry to women. No matter the argument we may want to bring up, it’s only good to apologize to them, resolve to change towards them and also teach our young men how to respect and value them.
Truth is that, the word gentleman is not obsolete and that is who we are
Signed: Iyke Samuel